Autor: Jasna Zagorac Simonović (Prava strana)
The crucial meeting took place in the „KPMG Yugoslavia“, suite 33 in the Sava Center, Belgrade, Serbia, the same building which few days before had become famous when a real mouse crossed the conference hall in the middle of an EU meeting… I love mice, especially Mickey and his global family, but recently I got deeply involved with the One, finally recognized as such by my opponent’s lawyer at the hearing in the Commercial Courtin Belgrade… The handsome guy, representing the „KPMG Yugoslavia“, tried to explain that this small, both loving and frightening, creature should not be made into an elephant, but failed to win an argument on its innocence in kind because my lady lawyer and I, female, both exclaimed Got you!… Then I stood up and said Thank you for the acknowledging that KPMG is a mouse!, and she continued This mouse made such damages!…but the lady Judge interfered and cut our joint FUN with Stop it! I will not tolerate such mouse stories in the courtroom any longer!This Action for damages due to performing business in bad faith was filed with the Commercial Court in Belgrade at the end of 1999. by my private company „Farmest“, registered in ex-Yugoslavia in 1990. The „Farmest“ was granted exceptional rights by Solvay in all Eastern and Central Europe, as voluntarily expressed by the Solvay Area manager for Central and Eastern Europe. So in 1998. I also became General manager of „Solvay“ organization and opened a Solvay representative office, which according to the current law, does not constitute a legal entity and was permitted to perform only promotional activities. The action started in court because the KPMG refused to correct a legal mistake written in its consultancy report to Solvay in January 1999, and prevented the founding of the Solvay legal entity, the only entity legally allowed to take over the assets acquired by the Farmest.The Head of the KPMG office in Belgrade issued this report in an I-am-pretty-sure style. So I took my Principal Solvay to the KPMG office to clarify the matter, but unexpectedly the Solvay started enjoying this pretty-sure business and let the KPMG lead them to…a trap! So I was left all alone with the MISTAKE…And we all sometimes make mistakes, I tried to provoke regret in dozens of ways, sending hundreds of e-mails, faxes, letters, legal papers, funny stories…all over the globe…Silence! Typical for the weakest link of the triangle, I called on the closest KPMG relatives for help: Hungary , Sweden , Belgium , Russia , Oklahoma , New York …and mainly achieved “We do not understand who suffered the KPMG report!”. Then I relied on the closest Solvay family for help: endless names. Their first order “We want unanimous opinion from the KPMG, Yugoslav Ministries and lawyers” turned into an anonymous voice from the chairman’s office “Do not call here any more…Your papers are submitted out of Solvay for evaluation…You will be contacted”…Never ever since!
The KPMG mistake lead to further consequences: a- The Solvay Germany legal representation contract was unofficially terminated by the Solvay declaring the truth „We thank Farmest for pleasant co-operation, especially in supporting us successfully with respect to regulatory affairs“ b- Two other Farmest legal representation contracts with Solvay Pharmaceuticals France and the Netherlands were also unofficially terminated by the Solvay Netherlands because „As General manager of Farmest you have exceeded the scope of your mandate on behalf of the Solvay companies such as in a case in which also KPMG is involved“ c- Three consignment stock agreements between the Farmest and Solvay were not cancelled at all…but Solvay name was promptly trapped into dozens of illegal steps blindly blessed by the entire Solvay top management! d- The humanitarian fund Solvay, founded by the Farmest and Solvay during the NATO bombing, was forgotten by the Solvay itself and patients with severe illnesses were left without vital medicaments…
The Farmest was the only supplier of the Solvay drugs. e- My labor contracts with the Solvay experienced a typical divorce fight: Solvay mistreatment…my tenor and contents…Solvay termination…my regret…Solvay kicking me out … my literal breaking loose from everything… and Solvay, „For us this is the end of the story!“… When my two Solvay partners/bosses (an “emotionally-conflicted” Dutch and his German successor “experienced in Russian mafia”) escaped from the Hyatt Regency Hotel lobby due north the Balkan highway (Belgrade-Budapest) instead of meeting me in the office the following day to make civilized decisions, I cried my eyes out until weeks later in the middle of the night my husband said „It’s been enough now! Who do you think you are?!…You cannot settle global injustices!“…And then after a while, „Can you picture Kohl, Clinton or Blair crying when they had failures?!“…Exactly!… So, I stopped crying in public but continued in secret … seeking asylum in God’s tear in various ways, mainly by putting down the words Punishments, Trial, Has anyone lately seen God?, Yellow pages, America against top business terrorism and other sensitive and insensitive stuff… Underestimated lack of global emotions!
At that time I did not know that 26 months later God would delegate to me to the same lobby of the Hyatt Regency Hotel from the south of the same Balkan highway (Skopje via Pristina) an obliged consultant with 3 rings and 3 dogs to give me the idea to write a “sexy article” for the New York Times, or… He mentioned several other brands of the press, but I only memorized the first….The New York Times. The goal of this article is to get public apologies from the chairmen of the KPMG – Mr Stephen G.Butler, New York and Solvay – Mr Baron Daniel Janssen, Brussels, and to fill that sandwich with whatever hard currency in seven to nine zeros as my compensation. I want to use that money to build a Balkan power house upon Principles of God, so that Europe can return to the Right way. No country is an island nowa-globally-days. In order to make these two gentlemen my friends, I would, in my late forties, return to my teenage years and play hide-and-seek in N.Y. underground, or stand in a Belgium phonebox endlessly listening an operator in French. Furthermore, in order to receive a comment from ex, present, or future president of the USA to my numerous mails, at least as decent as those I received from the Hague Tribunal, I would again stand barefoot in front of the Capitol till dawn, or I would fix some delicious food for a mouse trap through flame, dye and caustic soda.
Few days ago in a Serbian restaurant named „Koliba“ (Cottage), The Gentleman with 3 rings, discussing on some other business issues, reminded me of the words the end of the story, but, unusually for the British, he accepted my opinion, and said Yes…right…it is a start of a story… I believe that the best stories never end… I wish the Solvay and the KPMG to live happily married ever before and ever after… I wish the public Solvay to keep Solvay inhuman rights private and learn what is one to do next time some Mr or Ms Solvay receives a message I DO NEED YOUR HELP… I wish Mr Denis Solvay never to go down with the Abelag as he did with the Solvay… I wish the KPMG Global to appoint an obliged butler to escort the future KPMG clients to build instead to destroy…and my G. (read: Geee!) Butler to visit this place and estimate the damage done by the mouse-chen. I wish no one to ever be hurt with Silence as I was hurt with silence. To learn what you, an anonimous reader, would do to fortify the bar of the triangle, I would release web-KPMG-contact-us from my daily presence and let you find Stephen for me and ask. For the sake of us all!
Balkan is a beautiful place. People here have extraordinary senses and sometimes overwhelm their loves, and do not manage to recognize the fake fools and horses in time. I am still legally obliged to run the „Solvay“ legitimate business in my Homeland … But…We all like to keep something from our old relationships, don’t we?… P.S. This Article is dedicated to: -. Ernest Solvay, Founder of the Solvay who helped me through alarms and bombs during the NATO bombing of my Homeland (24.03.-11-06.1999) – Patients who died beforetime due to the deficiency of Dopamine – Children with cystic fibrosis who stayed hungry despite the food in their intestines due to the deficiency of Kreon – Hearts who suffered without Gilucor, Physiotens, Gilurytmal, Olicard – Painful bowels without Dicetel, Duspatalin – Ladies who did not become mothers for the lack of Pre-par – Faces who remained sad due to the deficiency of Fevarin…. Unfortunate to those mentioned above, the Farmest was an only supplier… – The New York Times if the main editor decides to publish this article as my small contribution to The Global Times which we all, locally global ever since God had and has LIVED us here, somehow expect….standing at the global doorstep of ABSOLUTE TRUTH… Clear?
(written in 2000)